Thursday, October 28, 2004

Cognitive Dissonance

Recently I had a very interesting conversation with an American of Indian origin. Having brought up in two different cultures; he seemed to have assimilated the best of the both. However, for some reason his attitude towards the "desis" was very hostile. He feels that most of us are not straightforward. We are very alluding and try to live in a world of layers wherein the other person needs to peel of each layer to know them well. Is it so? His comments forced me to think.
After coming to the US, my life has changed. Within a span of a year, I have learnt a lot about life. Coming from a sheltered home made the transition difficult. I learnt to live all by myself, learnt to deal with some sensitive issues (maybe I'm still learning) and have learnt to be more organized. I am quite impressed by the socializing skills of the Americans. I find them very straightforward and professional. Moreover, they try to reach the limits of everything they venture into which is quite commendable. To a great extent I admire all these qualities but still feel we also have something to offer to the western world.
Tolerance, unity in diversity (I feel we are more tolerant than any other country in this regard), family values, respect to our culture and traditions are all the great qualities I cherish in our custom. Well, its' true that most of them are trying to alienate from the above, while some others realize their identity. There is always a cognitive dissonance.
For a person who has to strive in a different culture in which some of the customs might be completely contrary to the former ones is very stressful. The person undergoes the stage of cognitive dissonance trying to search for his/her identity and realize what they want. Ultimately they make the choice; either to stick with what they believe in or to change according to the new environment while some assimilate the best from the both. So the person might also become as open-minded as the others in his surroundings or may stick to what he believes in. I think, open-mindedness has more to do with the comfort level than with the cultures. I might sound egoistic but I feel we have a reason to be alluding. Do we or don’t we?

Comments:
Hi Ram,
Really interesting questions:). Cognitive dissonance means havign two completely conflicting or contradictory thoughts at the same time. For instance, a person likes to go out biking but doesn't like the cold weather, it is cognitive dissonance. Well you want to do something but you cannot do it because of another reason.
In my blog I try to explain the cognitive dissonance experinced by many Indians like me. We want to get accoustomed to the society around but we do not want to loose our culture. Sometimes the american culture is completely contrary to our culture and there lies cognitive dissonance. It is very difficult for us to make a correct decision.

In the context of my blog I tried to explain "alluding" as trying to be very secretive and trying to "beat around the bush" rather than being straightforward. The person I came across feels most fo the Indians are very secretive in dsiclosing their true selves. They try alude you from the thruth.

At times alluding also mean trying to be indirect in the way you say something.
 
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